OneShots: Yullen and the Like
by AnglophilicSins
Summary: A collection of any one to three-shot I can think up. Angst, character-death and tears abound! Mostly KanxFemAre. May contain implied Lena-hate. Shot Five: Alone, or not? Part-3
1. Look at Me Part1

Heya! Hello and welcome to my snazzy collection of DGM one-shots! I know that AOOTMIS is taking forever but, bear with me, nya? I have like, _**zero**_ inspiration on how the hell to continue that monster. O.O Oh well, Enjoy!

Disclaimer – I do not own -Man or the characters within. I only own the plotline and thus it cannot be copied part or whole by any other party unless I personally give you the permission to do so via PM.

Warning - Lenalee bashing.

**Shot One—Look at Me**

Summary—Ellen is injured. And when Kanda simply refuses to pay attention, there's going to be some dire consequences. KanFemAre, Ellen's POV, death-fic.

**Part 1**

I rolled over my side, snuggling into my strangely firm pillow. I wrapped my arms around it, its soft heaving and the warmth it was giving off lulling me back to the sleep I had barely escaped.

Wait, heaving? And warmth? Holy…

"HYAAAAAA!!"

"SHUT UP, DAMN MOYASHI! YOU'RE BURSTING MY EARS!"

"NOOO! WHY IN HEAVEN'S NAME AM I IN THE SAME BED AS YOU!? AND NAKED TO BOOT!?"

I was huddled at the corner of my bed, using the sheets to cover whatever-should-not-be-seen-by-male-eyes. Kanda was at the far, opposite end, for which I was grateful. He loosely held one end of the sheets to cover his privates and turned to gaze intently out of the frost-covered window.

Several moments of uncomfortable silence lapsed between us. Occasionally, I shot a quick glance at him and turned away just as quickly. I could tell he was doing the same too.

'_You know, he_ _**does**__ have rather sexy abs…'_ chortled a soft, mischievous voice from the dark recesses of my mind. I moaned in agony and slammed my head against the headboard.

Wrong move.

Kanda spazzed noticeably, an erection apparent even with the sheets covering it. A hot blush spread rapidly across his cheeks and he turned to face the wall, long, dark, silken strands fell over his masculine face and hid it from my view. Of course, upon realizing that my earlier moan must have reminded Kanda of something that had undoubtedly transpired last night, I slammed my head against the headboard again.

* * *

I shuddered in my large coat as the cold Northern winds blew over me. The last few days I had spent in the Order was not quite as pleasant as I would have wanted it to be. All I could ever think about was Kanda, Kanda, Kanda; and how _sexy_ every part of him was. Memories of the first and only night had flooded back, completely unwelcome. Every second spent anywhere near him was awkward; our conversations were kept short and polite. The normal insults no longer spilled forth; instead, he was completely civil with me. No more death glares, no more threats, **nothing**. It was freaky.

But the most unnerving part of it all was, he never once looked my way.

Now, we were heading off to yet another mission; together, with Lenalee. And although I was grateful that she kept Kanda's attention off me, I secretly wished that he just turn and look my way. I mentally pinched myself._ 'You're one heck of a love-struck idiot, aren't you, Ellen?'_

Greenland wasn't all like I had expected it to be. But then again, it was quite far up North, and it snowed madly at the uninhabitable ice sheets. Tough luck, because today was one such day.

In almost no time at all, Lenalee seemed to have frozen solid. So Kanda and I plowed our way through mountain sides to create a deep enough cave to set up camp. Mentally, I kicked Lenalee for choosing such a short, thin, thigh-length coat to wear to this cold region.

While Kanda got busy with the firewood, I distracted myself with warming Lenalee. And when Lenalee finally settled down to sleep, I turned to Kanda; who was, unsurprisingly, still not looking in my general direction.

I didn't bother trying to get any sleep that night; I knew it would be futile anyway.

* * *

We trekked another few miles before my curse began acting up. Kanda tensed on my left and Lenalee continued shivering away. We slowed our large strides to cautious steps, calculating every step before placing our foot down. But Lenalee did not seem to be in the right mind to do so.

A soft crunch of snow, a shuddering hill, and an explosion that sent me flying.

"Lenalee! Get out of there! It's not _-cough-_ it's not safe! Hurry!" I cried frantically, reaching forward to push a semi-conscious Lenalee off the large mound of snow-covered akuma.

Push her off I did; and with all haste possible, I charged away from the hill. I vaguely registered another loud explosion followed by a hot pain in my chest. The faint, muffled explosion of akuma being destroyed barely reached my ears. My vision grew hazy; the ground began to warp beneath me. I dropped to my knees, my body growing numb with pain. I heard the dull chunk of the large akuma bullet falling to my left, but I could have cared less.

I shrugged off my coat, ignoring the chilling winds that slapped me relentlessly. I ripped off strips of material from my coat, using them as a crude bandage.

"I'm injured!" I called out to the snowstorm, hoping that Kanda had heard me.

I received a non-committal "Hn" in reply. Concentrating as best as I could, I bandaged the gaping wound on the left of my chest. No wait, the right, left; right, left…Oh, forget it.

We set up camp not long after, Lenalee warming up at a faster rate this time. I leant against the cold stone walls, wincing as a protruding rock jabbed my wound. Lenalee strode over in all her mini-skirt glory, squatting before me and asking if I was all right.

'_All right? All right, indeed! And I wonder who was so stupid as to not have chosen a larger coat and then got frostbite after which I had to save her from being killed by an akuma; which landed me in this state! Of course it's not you, __**Lena-bitch**__,'_ screamed my other, inner Black Ellen.

I glared at her from under my bangs, before growling out a very pissed "I'm fine! Leave me alone!" at her.

She stumbled back as though she had been slapped, large _fat_ tears forming in her bug-eyes as she ran away, sobbing pathetically. Strange, I could not find a single part of me that pitied her the slightest.

I grumbled irritably as I eased myself into my sack. I pondered over why I felt so cranky; perhaps it was my time of the month now? _'Oh gods, no… Not now, it shouldn't be now! I've checked!'_

* * *

Whew, that was one heck of an exhausting chapter! I'll write part 2 when I'm in the mood for it; and when I find time, I shall upload my pic for this fic into my dA. Do send in your reviews for they are very much appreciated. Constructive criticism shall be huggled and snuggled! Flames shall be read and replied to, because I do value your opinions.

Look at Me, a -Man fanfic. ©H-Hanabi-12, 2008, all rights reserved.


	2. Look at Me Part2

Part 2, it's finally up! :D Still having a writer's block for AOOTMIS so it'll take a while. I'm gonna draw a doujinshi and then put it up on my dA sometime, hopefully, soon. Also, you may have noticed that Ellen's a really mean girl in my fic. That's because she was fashioned slightly after me; though I'm less polite and melodramatic. I'm more like… Kanda; which is why I have that nickname! Ah yes, Wacko with nickname usage, my teacher could hardly understand who was who!

Disclaimer – I do not own -Man or the characters within. I only own the plotline and thus it cannot be copied part or whole by any other party unless I personally give you the permission to do so via PM.

Warning - Lenalee bashing.

**Shot One—Look at Me**

Summary—Ellen is injured. And when Kanda simply refuses to pay attention, there's going to be some dire consequences. KanFemAre, Ellen's POV, death-fic.

**

* * *

****Part 2**

We had an early start the next morning as we were a little behind schedule due to a _certain someone_ who kept on freezing and fainting. On a _wonderful_ side note however, I was perfectly and safely away from my certain dreaded time of the month; to God be the glory.

Lenalee's teeth chattered uncontrollably in the morning chill. I puffed out my breath in annoyance; she really needed to know how to plan to wear something other than those _things_ that she called clothes. They were more like… underwear! Seriously, it was that pathetic. No wonder Komui fears for her _'innocence'_.

Enough about her, this is about me, isn't it? (self-glorification, lol) Anyway, I too, am cold, freezing in fact. Part of the reason why I'm cold is because I was kind and nice enough to lend (shove into face with insults) Lenalee my beautifully warm, woolly, snuggly scarf which she was, at that moment, leaving disgusting yellowy-green snot all over it; clumping the hand-knitted article of winter clothing into a solid block of frozen mucus. After which, she actually had the nerve to pull it off, push it back to my face and say, "Um, Ellen? You look cold; maybe you should have this back. Although, it isn't very warm. It feels like you had put it in the freezer before we set off. I'm not sure if it'd be of much help to you."

'_Oh really now? Perhaps I would have been snuggled nicely into its once __**unfrozen, warm**__ woolliness and have been nicely warm should I not have had to pass it to __**you**__. Now look at what you've done! My scarf's nothing but a block of solid snot that might I remind you came from __**your**__ wretched nose! And you __**dare**__ tell me it's __**my**__ fault my scarf isn't effective anymore? Well __**excuse me**__ for trying to be nice for once!_' screeched my inner-Ellen.

Instead, I gave her a poisonously sweet smile and gritted out, "No, please _do_ keep it. You seem to need it more than I do, Lenalee-_san_." She didn't take the hint, huggled me, and ran around in three humongous circles shouting 'thank you'. Worst part is, when she hugged me, her snot was flowing out like a waterfall onto **my shoulder**. Magically, it had become _sticky_ and _gooey_ and _slimy_ and all… _snot-like_ when I tried to get it off. It just simply _refused _to leave my being without leaving a trail of slime behind. Then I had to watch her return to freezing the thawing scarf all over again with her icky snot machinegun.

Oh _blasted_ joy.

* * *

It hurt, oh by God it hurt. The cold blizzard wind wasn't making things any better. It was reopening, blood was dripping out of whatever had already opened, the crimson liquid quickly staining my shirt. The wound was slowly torn open by the invisible, ruthless hands off the wind, and each inch was pure agony. I watched in horror as a single droplet dripped onto the snow, staining the pure white to deadly red. More soon followed, spilling forth from both my front and back. My head began throbbing, and I squinted into the blizzard landscape. Nothing but silent white, a cold that would no doubt freeze me to death; snow that would no doubt bury out of sight of anyone who tried to find me. Hopeless.

'Never stop walking, Ellen. Isn't that what you've been living by?'

"I know, Mana would want me to try. To pick myself up, to overcome the pain; stand up and forge ahead, to catch up with the others, to survive…"

'Then why aren't you doing that? Don't you want to fulfill Mana's last wish?'

"I want to, but… Ugh!" Pain burst forth from my chest, my vision began to go red…

'But what, Ellen?' Blood streaked before me, like a beckoning path. I dropped to my knees, my heartbeat in my head.

"But… I can't…"

The young exorcist fell forward, right hand clutching her chest where the akuma bullet had pierced her heart three days ago. Her left hand began to glow a mysterious green, as did her wound. Out of the bloody fountain, green particles of what seemed like glowing dust began to float slowly outwards, drifting lazily towards the left arm, before settling into the appendage. The arm then broke off from the girl's motionless body.

"If he'd seen, he'd have known, right? He… didn't look… at… m-…"

* * *

Kanda maintained a healthily large distance between himself and the other girl, making sure to go nowhere near her borrowed, and now snotty, scarf or her nose. He grumbled slightly; Komui had been very unspecific, merely saying that they'd have to cross this certain ice sheet and somewhere around there, should be innocence.

He stifled a distressed sigh. Lately, he had been ignoring Ellen, after that incident. They had confessed their feelings for each other the day before that happened and they both knew the invisible boundaries that still existed between them and kept to them, not daring to cross the line. When Lavi had heard of their new relationship however, he had spread the news to the entire Order, especially Jerry and his team of cooks. So much so that it had become a full-blown party held in the cafeteria. Ellen really did eat like a ravenous pig, a somewhat dainty and beautiful one but a ravenous pig nevertheless.

Their drinks must have been spiked, there was no other explanation on why Kanda would have behaved so uncharacteristically lustful that night.

This time, he really let out a soft, exasperated sigh. He shut his eyes to moisten them; the blizzard wind had dried them until they felt sore. He listened to the sound of snow softly crunching away beneath his heavy leather boots, glad that Lenalee had finally fallen silent for once; had she frozen up again? He frowned slightly as the snow adopted a more squelchy tone, like thick liquid had been poured over the snow and had not been left to settle in for very long. He cracked a narrow eye open and blinked both at the pink tinge of the previously white snow. The pinkness was spreading downhill and the spot that he had stepped on was becoming considerably redder, darker, more sinister…

Blood.

"Oh fuck no… Ellen!"

The Japanese teen turned on his heel and raced back into the snow, the blizzard once again picking up. The Chinese girl was following him too, all business but still confused; the man had just used Ellen's name… (Lenalee had been away in a different mission when Lavi set up the celebration. When she returned, nobody bothered to fill her in on what had happened.)

Halfway up the hill, Lenalee fainted from frostbite.

* * *

"Ellen! Where are you! Ellen, oi! Che, MOYASHI!!" he called as he followed the trail of blood that just seemed to go on forever. _She's already bled this much, she can't be… no… Oh Gods, please tell me that she isn't… not yet!_

He continued to race up the mountain side, fighting against the strong winds that threatened to throw him off the tracks at any time. Already some parts of the trail were covered in snow.

Kanda panted for breath as he reached the end of the trail; no Ellen. He looked around in a panicked frenzy, trying to work out where the trail might have last ended. _The snow here… it's… slightly lower than over here… Shit, she's buried under the snow!_

He dug ferociously, his hopes heightened every so often when he found a patch of blood-stained snow. But when he reached his true goal, he broke.

"Oh Kami… Ellen? Ellen… you can't be dead… you don't die, you're practically immune to death! Ellen? O-Oi..," he whispered in disbelief, shock lacing his words as he stared, frozen, at the still form upon the ground.

"Yu… I…Kan…"her voice was painfully raspy, some blood that had dried and crusted at the sides of her mouth crackled ominously as she spoke, "Inno…cen…ce…"

Slowly, her detached left hand uncurled, revealing a shimmering green cube, two gears revolving endlessly around it; Innocence. But at that moment, Kanda Yu could have cared less for the glowing stone.

"Ellen! Oh my god, you're alive," he whispered, voice shaking ever so slightly, "I'll call the Order, and tell them it's an emergency. Please, don't die on me, please don't…"

"Kan…da… You're… crying? I never… saw you as one… to shed tears."

"Ellen… don't… don't leave me…" Kanda wept bitterly, his native tongue used subconsciously as he was taken over by grief.

"Take the Innocence and go, Kanda," her voice weak yet firm; a command, not a request, "People die all the time… am I… not right?"

"Ellen? Oi, Ellen… ELLEN!!"

* * *

"Kanda-kun, you really should eat something or at least, get some sleep. I know you're grieving but, I don't think Ellen would have liked you to neglect your own needs like that. Kanda-kun?"

"…"

"Very well then; I shall take my leave."

Kanda frowned, his face gaunt and grief-stricken. His usually abyss-blue eyes a mere glassy gray as he stared with a wry grin at Ellen's face. Her coffin was beautiful and elaborately white, a glass piece was over face for others to see her serenely calm features, never to once again be disturbed by the earthly world.

"Konbanwa, Exorcist-san! Want to bring little Ellen back, Kanda-pon?"

Kanda's grin widened, he looked almost crazed.

"Sure, Millennium Earl, by all means… give Ellen back to me…"

* * *

Oh my God, at first I wanted Kanda to kill himself to join Ellen but then… BAM! The story wrote the rest of itself out. I swear, it was going on in movie-mode in my head! Kanda was sca~ary~… I have no idea what my next shot will be, so there will most probably be no updates any time soon. BTW, the chapter itself is 1589 words! Yahoo!

Ciao!  
Hana


	3. Alone or not? Part1

OK, so I had this really random idea like, once upon a time; so… I thought it was time it came out. However, this is quite very different from my original plan; I changed it after I watched 'Lonely Day' by _System of a Down_. There is also use of Japanese in here because I say so. Of course, I've translated it out and if anyone spots a mistake, do point it out in a review and I'll get down to amending it. So, enjoy! (OMG, this is another Kanda-goes-crazy fic! WTH is wrong with me?) This is also the poll option that was taken down, so there.

Disclaimer – I do not own -Man or the characters within. I only own the plotline and thus it cannot be copied part or whole by any other party unless I personally give you the permission to do so via PM.

Warning – mild Lenalee bashing.

**Shot ****Two---Alone… or not?**

Summary—When the secret of the Fourteenth is revealed, the order shuns Ellen away. And the only man who stood by her to the end decides that not even giving Ellen a proper burial was the last straw; death-fic.

* * *

**Alone****… or not? Part 1.**

"Is it true? Ellen, please tell me it isn't! You can't be a Noah!" Lenalee squeaked from the corner of the room.

"It's true, Lenalee. But, rest assured; I'm not going to let it take over me. Even if it does, I'll destroy it before it can harm anyone," Ellen replied, a gentle smile upon her young features as she approached the Chinese girl.

"No… no--!" Shrieked the other exorcist, hands clutching her head in fear, desperately blocking out all Ellen had said as she backed away. When she had reached the wall, she slumped down to her knees, shaking her head; pupils dilated in fear, tears streaming slowly out of her deep purple eyes.

"Lenalee, oi! It's all right; Ellen's on our side, remember?" Lavi spoke as he rushed to the side of his girlfriend, kneeling down beside her as he attempted to comfort her.

"B…Bake…_**BAKEMONO!!!**_"

"CHOUTO! (Wait up!) LENALEE!!" hollered Lavi as he ran after the girl who had just bolted out of the door.

"Ellen-chan, i…is it-?" Miranda choked, eyes straying towards the door every so often.

Ellen nodded, eyes downcast as she resigned herself to her fate. She didn't trust her lips to move just yet, Lenalee's previous statement bringing back painful memories of her abandonment… _Boku wa… bakemono janai… Boku wa… ningen wa… ne? _(I'm not a monster. I'm a human, right?)

"And when you brought me here to the Order I had thought you were an ordinary exorcist, I see I am terribly mistaken," huffed Krory, leading a quivering Miranda out of the room; shooting one last glare over his shoulder before he disappeared from sight.

"I knew it! I always did! You're one of the enemy; you're disgusting!" and with that, Chaoji followed the others; the light from the door seemingly engulfing him as he left.

Ellen remained where she was, chewing her bottom lip as she attempted to control the tears that threatened to spill forth. It was every orphan's worst fear, losing a family that had just welcomed them in. If one family had abandoned you, there's no telling if an adoptive family wouldn't, right? They would care for you and spoil you, until the novelty wore off and they threw you back into the streets; the false sense of hope shattered painfully by people they believed had loved them. They would laugh mockingly at you for your gullibility, your naivety, your innocence. Then they'd leave you to rot in the dark, not caring a whit about your wellbeing any longer. Then you'd cry when you realized then that you had no roof, that you had to fight with mangy, ferocious street dogs for a piece of rotten meat that was to last you a week, that when winter came it no longer meant Christmas presents and snowball fights. No, winter meant that you were going to die if you were too short or skinny, or if no one had found you by then. There would be no one to apply band-aids onto your every little cut and graze, no one to tuck you into bed and assure you that there were no monsters hiding in the wardrobe.

It was happening again.

Her heart felt like as though it had just stopped; for in the one place where she wasn't thrown aside because of her deformity or scar, she was being abandoned by those she called 'friends' and 'family'. It was misplaced trust; her desperate need for familial love had driven her to carelessly trust others. As she looked back upon her memories, it seemed as though every smile she had seen on the faces of her 'friends', was fake, like they were cringing at the thought of just looking at her hideous, scarred face and disgusting excuse of Innocence. Who had truly loved her? It seemed like as though the world was dead-set on proving to her that she was terribly unwanted, that 'friends' and 'family' was completely impossible for her.

Not even Mana had seemed to care about her any longer, a father forsaking a child that was never his. Merely taking her in on a whim as he had sensed his sister's (the Fourteenth's) soul being reborn within her. All Mana had ever really been was a desperate brother who wished that the last of his kin would truly come back to him, that he would have a family once more. She was but a replacement figure in his eyes.

A single crystalline tear slipped out of her eye, setting a salty track for others to follow…

"Kanda-kun, please escort Ellen-san back to her room, she doesn't seem well enough to be getting back on her own and she most certainly needs rest."

"Hn."

Her silent sobbing came to an abrupt halt, finally realizing that there had indeed been other people still in the room. And then her next thought froze her self-pity party:

Kanda hadn't left her; he had yet to say a single biting word about her relation to the Noah clan. He had not punched her, nor threatened her life while brandishing a very activated Mugen. Perhaps he actually cared for her? Perhaps he-

_Iie, Ellen. Don't bother thinking that __way; he would murder me in my sleep… or something. He had probably suspected it all along too, that must be the reason why he was always arguing with me and finding reasons to pick fights with me. Sou, I can't really trust anyone any more, can I?_

A calloused hand was gently nudging her shoulder backwards, as if signaling for her to follow someone, that it was time to move on. Her body numbly complied, following after the blurry, shadowy figure before her. Her mind however, dwelled on increasingly depressing thoughts of the recent developments.

"_Don't stop. Never stop walking until the day you die, Ellen."_

The affectionate sternness of his voice back then suddenly sounded like malicious, mocking laughter at her expense, like as though he had been having fun watching her fall and stumble and fail, time after time. That false sense of hope that she had foolishly built from listening to his seemingly encouraging words; he was laughing, all this while, thinking what a naïve, insolent brat she was._ Not any more, I won't be let down like this ever again. I cannot, no, I must never trust again._

Her head snapped up, her tears long gone. She glared at the Japanese exorcist in front of her, regarding him with suspicious and hurt eyes; as if daring him to turn around and launch a surprise attack on her.

_I can't let my guard down, not in front of anyone. I've seen what the others had done, I was wrong, I know that now. I won't repeat those same mistakes; I won't hope for love any longer, because I know I'm not meant to get any. Bring it on, God; let's see what you plan to throw at me next._

* * *

Ok, so for the Christians who have felt insulted by the last line, I'm terribly sorry. But you must consider that all this while, E/Allen has been very religious and righteous, and look at where it has landed her. She is undergoing a lot of emotional turmoil, and like all humans, she feels the need the put the blame on someone. No matter how perfect we seem, we all have our own flaws, because we're only human.

So… this will probably have around two or three parts because frankly, I hadn't expected the part to be so… well, angsty. I can't write romance with so much angst fuel in me, so the Yullen will be coming in at Part 2.

Ciao,

Hana (honourifics, blergh…)


	4. Alone or not? Part2

Right, so I've moved out and I feel depressed. But at least I have an idea of how the 'ell I should be doing this chapter. As for AOOTMIS, I might write up Chapter 5 soon, since I at least know how to write _that_… The rest of the story will be a muddled smudge with no head or tail so it won't be written just yet. BTW, after reading Sinnatious' POT fics, I am thoroughly convinced that 1) TezRyo rocks, and there's no better pairing in the world. 2) Ryoma will never call Tezuka anything other than 'buchou'. 3) Fuji Syuske is a conniving, cunning, plotting evil-genius who is able to perceive that Tez & Ryo are in a relationship at first glance. So, enjoy the chapter! Remember to leave a review while you're at it.

Disclaimer – I do not own -Man or the characters within. I only own the plotline and thus it cannot be copied part or whole by any other party unless I personally give you the permission to do so via PM.

Warning – mild Lenalee bashing.

* * *

**Shot ****Two---Alone… or not?**

Summary—When the secret of the Fourteenth is revealed, the order shuns Ellen away. And the only man who stood by her to the end decides that not even giving Ellen a proper burial was the last straw; death-fic.

* * *

**Part 2**-Kanda's POV

"Right, so of course, Howard Link will be keeping an eye on Ellen-san on this mission as well. Is everyone clear of the mission details; Kanda, Ellen?" Komui said as he regarded us.

I grunted in my usual fashion and hoisted Mugen over my shoulder. I shot a quick glance to Ellen, and frowned at her sorry-looking state. Her normally flowing silver hair was not in the usual ponytail; instead, it seemed as though she had attempted to cut off the ends and then mussed her hair in every imaginable direction, followed by ruthlessly raking it back down with a toothbrush. Her eyes had deep bags beneath them and were rimmed red, her normally warm, expressive eyes were now dull, cold and suspicious. In fact, she was regarding Komui like as though he would spring out from behind the desk with a gigantic gun in his hand and shoot off her head. Her lips once wide and smiling for all, was now set in a thin line and in a constant frown. She ate slower, she'd grown gaunter, and she would shoot her mouth of at anyone who even did so much as to touch her. It felt as though a cold chill was dancing on my back as I thought of that day I was asked to bring her back to her room…

-OoO-

"_Oi, Moyashi,"_

"_Go to hell, you fucking bastard…"_

"_Nan-!?(Wha-!?) You damned sprout-!!" I gripped the front of her shirt and hoisted her into the air, bringing her up to my eye level._

_She was __**grinning**__, very creepily…_

"_Hn? Finally going to do the deed are we? Go ahead, chop off my head. The Order'd be a much safer place without a __**Noah**__ walking its halls, deshou? (Am I not right?) Finish me off; dammit… __**KILL ME NOW, KANDA YU**__!!"_

-oOo-

Now we were being sent to investigate mysterious killings and disappearances, most likely Akuma. I sorely hoped against hope that I could talk some sense into her, and maybe even… tell her I still trust her, that I love her…

* * *

It was the seventh day that we had been camping out in this cold dingy shack, but we had yet to catch sight of the Akuma responsible. The killings seemed to have seized, but the villagers were still frightened; they had not let us stay in their inns, for fear that we were the murderers. It was frustrating, to say in the least, but in the end, we'd managed to find some form of shelter during our little Akuma hunt; which was, unsurprisingly really, rather fruitless.

On another matter, being out of the Order seemed to have helped Ellen's complexion somewhat, but she seemed to have grown frail and weak; unwilling to accept assistance or stop her search before twilight set in. She was overworking herself, but she would accept none of my pleas (?) for her to just take a rest. Any of Link's requests had no effect either, and in fact, were spit upon. Her state of mind was quite worrying as well, she randomly broke out into fits of insane giggles in the dead of night that eerily reminded me of the Level 4 Akuma. Needless to say, tonight was no such exception.

"Eeheehee… Eeheehee. Nukuku kuku kuku, nyanya, nyanya! Heehee!" came a ghostly whisper off to my left. By now, I'd known that this was in fact, Ellen, having yet another bout of mindless giggles.

I would hate to admit it, but after an entire week of listening to her go on like this, I was feeling thoroughly spooked. I squinted in the inky blackness, barely making out her hunched form in a far corner. I could see her lips moving, and the occasional shudder whenever she laughed; her head was lolling bonelessly from side to side, her knees hugged close to her chest, a pitiful picture. I sidled over to her side as quietly as possible, praying that her speech would at least be slightly comprehensible and that she would understand what I was about to say.

"Moyashi,"

"Hn? Nani, nani??" I cringed at her voice; it reminded me of Rhode just a little too much.

"Listen to me, I know you're still rather upset about the others' reactions to… well, you know…" That seemed to snap her back into reality.

"Che, what do you care?" Was this how I always treated others? Suddenly, I got the eerie sensation that our roles had in some way, been reversed.

"I was there, I heard what they'd called you… Monster, traitor, enemy…" I knew I was straining my voice, but I was trying as hard as I most possibly could to keep our conversation light, "I just want you to know that…"

"You think that way too? No surprise there, really. I'd known it all along… All along, all along, la-lala-lala, dee-deedee-deedee, all along, all along…" Great, now she was back to singing…

"NO! No, I don't… Moyashi… I… **Dammit Ellen, **_**listen to me!**_" She shut up, thank God. I drew in a deep breath, "IloveyouandIwon'tbetrayyousopleasegobacktothewayyouwerebefore." Done, I hope she caught it all.

When I was saying that, I had turned away to hide my blush even though she probably would not have been able to see it in the dark anyway. So as I turned back to face her, I was greeted with an expression of pure bewilderment.

"P…Pardon? I might have been mistaken but… did you just say that… you l…l…lo…" There was a sliver of humor in her stormy gray eyes, one that had been absent for far too long.

"I did." Why did I suddenly feel so small?

"Pfft. Right, if that was supposed to be a joke, it was hardly funny; try harder." I sort of knew it.

"It's not. M…Ellen, you don't believe what the others have said about you right?"

"…No, I don't…" Good, exactly the reply I was looking for.

"But if you just go on this way, are you not just showing them that what they have said is the truth?" Silence… "I want them to be wrong, Ellen, but I may be tempted to think otherwise if you keep pushing us away."

"Us? Define 'us', and besides, I wasn't the one who'd pushed them away, THEY were the ones who _threw_ **me** out."

"I didn't. Like I said, I want to prove them wrong. And like I said… I love you and I won't betray you… so please?" Gods, that felt strange… "If for no one else then at the very least for your own sake; I mean, you look, for the lack of a better word, like shit. Really." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her glance over her thin frame. The next few minutes lapsed in contemplative silence.

And then, the most miraculous thing happened. She smiled; a kind, serene smile that was, as far as I knew, unique to her only. She said the next two words under her breath, so quietly that I had to strain to catch them.

"Thank you."

The corner of my lips twitched upwards briefly, and with a start, I realized.

I had just smiled…

* * *

The next morning, Ellen was back to her usual self; a bundle of energy and optimism. Of course, Link had raised an eyebrow at her sudden behavioral change and was obviously expecting an answer from me. I merely shook my head and said, "No need for you to know."

We were startled out of our reverie by a large shadow that passed overhead at a speed near unfathomable. Ellen's cry of "Akuma" was quite enough to confirm my suspicions. We raced after it, hoping that we would not arrive to find the villagers replaced with ash. Link began to lag behind, saying that he had some business to attend to and would get in the way of defeating the Akuma.

They weren't yet reduced to ashes, fortunately. And according to Ellen's cursed pentacle, there were Akuma hidden amongst the village folk too. We hacked our way through the thick throng of Akuma, their numbers seemingly increasing as more transformed out of their disguises.

It was nearing the end of the hordes of Akuma, I could tell. The thick mass of gathered Akuma had already thinned out considerably. It was at this time that I saw Ellen headed straight for a young girl, holy claw poised to strike. The child was obviously an Akuma, and was 'escaping' with the human mother. Innocence dug into flesh, and then child exploded in a spectacular whirl of flames. Her manner of death was probably enough to convince the mother that the child was not, in fact, human. If only all people were that understanding…

"Shit," I cursed as I easily dodged a bullet. I completely forgot about the Akuma! Sighing quietly, I continued to hack through the disgusting blobs of metal. Reaching the last one, I threw in one last strike and dropped to the ground panting. Sure, they were easy opponents, but there were just that many…

"She's hit! She's been hit! Kanda-san! Ellen-san's been hit! It looks bad, and she's out cold," Link cried from in front of one of the villager's huts.

We hurried to the nearest telephone in the small area, and I frowned at the large hole in her chest. The Akuma had probably gotten her lung or something. Link dialed the Order and for some reason CROW in record time, his fingers a flurry of motion.

As we waited on the outskirts of the village, I noticed the cross at the back of Ellen's innocence hand was glowing faintly. But as I continued to observe it, nothing really seemed to be happening; so I just settled for looking around aimlessly until the Order's paramedics came.

* * *

Ok, so there's quite a bit of OOC-ness on Kanda's part but he's just so hard to write! I know that I found Ellen just slightly more than a little freaky, if not very. Loved it, hated it? Room for improvement, writing errors? I'd never know unless you leave a review!

Hana


	5. Alone or not? Part3

Ah… Alone at home. Alas, the blissful serenity! –sags- Today, I miraculously, have no school. And you know why!? BECAUSE MY SCHOOL DID WELL IN THE 'O'-Levels LAST YEAR!! HURRAY! Ahem, right; so please remember to R&R. Even if you have nothing to say, something like, "Pls update!" would suffice. Really. You can flame too if you'd like.

Edit: NO!! Ack, not home alone anymore… sigh, guess all good things have to come to an end huh…

Disclaimer – I do not own -Man or the characters within. I only own the plotline and thus it cannot be copied part or whole by any other party unless I personally give you the permission to do so via PM.

Warning – mild Lenalee bashing.

**Shot ****Two---Alone… or not?**

Summary—When the secret of the Fourteenth is revealed, the order shuns Ellen away. And the only man who stood by her to the end decides that not even giving Ellen a proper burial was the last straw; death-fic.

* * *

**Part ****3**

I watched as the CROW members inspected her wound. They whispered something amongst themselves and then hauled her onto a gurney, carting her off to dimensions unknown. I sighed and returned to my room, preparing to write out that long bastard of a report using the rest of my free time. But that didn't manage to quell the strange sense of dread tugging relentlessly against my heart.

"Grr… Fine." I turned on my heel and stormed back in the direction I had come from, chasing aimlessly after Ellen.

* * *

"Bring the oil…"

"The fire…"

I stopped short in my tracks as I watched Ellen lying limply upon a stack of branches, a large vial of kerosene being poured over her, drenching her clothes through and through. Another CROW stood at a side, a small candle clutched in his hand.

My mind went blank. Before a million and one thoughts came flooding into my head. Why would they need to burn her? It wasn't even as though she had never survived a fatal wound before. Like, she had had a huge hole eaten through her heart before! The next words tumbled through my mouth before I could think straight again.

"She's not dead."

The CROW member nearest to me spared me a brief glance, before turning back to his work. I sucked in a sharp breath; it was… that was… Lavi…

Even as my vision began clouding over with red, I was still able to see what I'd missed. The tall one… Krory. The woman… Lenalee. The one with a pair of strange bangles… Chaoji. The one with disheveled hair… Miranda.

All of them, traitors… She'd trusted them, they were her friends. And now they were willing to burn her alive. I barely held back a gasp as she opened an eye. She stared at the CROW gathered around her for a while, before squinting and then… she cried.

Her face was one of sheer anguish and betrayal. Her beautiful diamond orbs now squinted hard together in painful remembrance. Even as she lay within the licking tongues of the flames, her body shook with an amazing might.

"SHE'S NOT DEAD!!" Mugen drew forth with a beautiful ring, and the two halves of Lavi fell onto the concrete.

The other CROWs scattered, hoods falling off their heads as they scrammed back into the tower.

No more…

My feet shifted beneath me, moving forward on their own accord.

_Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
The most loneliest day in my life_

Their faces, so full of hate. Hate for the one person who had loved them the most… Looks of silent joy, as they planned to burn that very same person into nothingness… They didn't deserve her love, _at all_.

_Such a lonely day  
Should be banned  
It's a day that I can't stand_

My scream rang throughout the hallways of the Black Order just as it had many times before. A scream of bloody murder, only this time I truly meant it.

_The most loneliest day of my life_

I didn't spare a second glance as Choaji's head rolled off to a side; far, far away from its body. That idiot had _always_ doubted her; he needed to die for that.

_The most loneliest day of my life_

I pushed Lenalee away with a boot and she tumbled a little, landing on her front. A large eight petal flower etched deep into her back, bleeding her life away. The damned whore…

_Such a lonely day  
Shouldn't exist  
It's a day that I'll never miss_

Slowly, as I watched Krory's body fall before me, I vaguely registered that I had killed Miranda along with him. Despite my rampage, I still remembered that these two had treated Ellen with such great reverence; loved her like a child of their own, and at the same time, regarding her as their saviour. But it had been shallow, so shallow that it had been broken by just that one small sign of betrayal.

Worthless, unworthy.

_Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
The most loneliest day of my life_

Ellen… she was still within those flames. I had wanted her to die with that very beautiful smile she always had, that only she had. But instead, she had died weeping, weeping because her friends tossed her aside like an old doll that no longer had any appeal.

Like Lala, the five-hundred year-old doll. But Ellen was a mere sixteen…

_And if you go,  
I wanna go with you_

I turned on my heel, running back to the slab of concrete where Ellen was burned by those disgusting roaches. I left the scientists and the others alive, but it mattered not, because there was only so much _they_ could do against the Akuma and Noah.

_And if you die,  
I wanna die with you  
Take your hand and walk away_

I watched, enchanted, as the fiery tongues danced vigorously around her pale body. There was a vivid green glow, but that slowly died down and soon I heard the faint shattering of glass.

Ellen's innocence had broken. Yet there was no Noah in sight, so why..? Then I started as Mugen exploded into dust in my hand.

_The most loneliest day of my life  
The most loneliest day of my life  
The most loneliest day of my life_

Ellen's innocence had been the heart, I realised. So when her will died, when the abandonment was too much to bear, coupled with the near fatal injury, the Heart had shattered. And Mugen too, had left with it.

Left with it… left with her… Suddenly, the fire looked _so_ very enticing… I lifted a foot up onto the burning branches as I felt the curse upon my chest fading away.

_Such a lonely day  
And it's mine_

And I hissed in pleasure as the fire engulfed me; I didn't feel the heat, or the pain. All I saw was Ellen standing before me, her arms opened wide as if to welcome me into her embrace.

But my eyes widened in shock as gentle tears began trickling down her face, her arms returning to her side as she turned away from me. I felt the ground give way beneath my feet, and suddenly I was plunging through darkness, away from that light where Ellen had been waiting for me.

I see, she was pure, but I was a sinner, a murderer. In the end, we could never have been together.

_It's a day that I'm glad I survi—_

* * *

In the end, they all meet a tragic end, even in the afterlife. That's the irony of love for you. Please review! **Please? AHHHH! I'M BEGGING YOU! JUST REVIEW!!** Total words: 1,087.


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